10 deep breaths Not those weak-ass fake deep breaths either. It’s OK if you hiccup during the breaths, just take ten deep breaths in and out. FULL inhale all the way until you lungs feel really really full and then FULLY exhale until your lungs feel really empty….your last one needs to be HUGE, and HOLD IT (…on to step …
HOLD IT! As your 10th breath (or as #11 if you want) take the BIGGEST FUCKING INHALE YOU POSSIBLY CAN AND HOLD IT IN. I don’t mean hold your breath as long as you can while you’re just goofing around or seeing how far you can go in the pool. I mean hold your breath until your brain panics and …
LET IT OUT Don’t simply exhale and start breathing normally again. I mean empty your lungs to a degree you NEVER have before. It doesn’t need to be powerful, just COMPLETE. Exhale as lengthily and thoroughly as you possibly can and hold it at the end until your brain FORCES you to take another breath against your will. Your hiccups …
Of course it worked. Now is your chance to financially reward me for saving your life or perhaps your evening.